The “He’s a Rescue Dog” Syndrome

The first thing I say to anyone who is inquiring about my services as a dog behaviorist is, “tell me about your dog.” All too often the first sentence I get back is, “well, he’s a rescue dog . . . blah, blah, blah” They usually then go into this long, dramatic story explaining how he was found chained to tree outside in the cold; or they detail the abuse he received at his first home; or how he was found emaciated, wandering the streets until the rescue was finally able to catch him. The stories are all different, yet exactly the same. They tell of the great misfortunes the dog has suffered and the tales are usually told with a slight quarter head tilt and/or a slow nod of the head to show their deep empathy.

If you are one of these people with one of these dogs, I have a big piece of advice that will greatly help both you and your dog: lose the sob stories – pronto.

Now don’t get me wrong, I agree that all those things that happened to your “rescue dog” were sad and unfortunate, and you are doing a really great thing by choosing to adopt a dog with a less than peachy past. However, you are negatively affecting his present by not letting go of what happened to him previously.

Your dog does not need your pity or your sympathy. What he really needs is your stability. Constantly recounting your dog’s tales of woe only prevents him from moving on. The great thing about dogs is that they live in the moment and don’t really care what happened to them in the past – they only care about what’s happening right now. Yes, their behavior is affected by the past and their present behavior may have been shaped by past events, but they are ready to move forward. They may need our guidance to get over those issues created by their past, but you will never be able to help them if you are emotional about what may have happened to them before they made it to your house.

So I want you to pretend that you have no idea what happened to your dog before he came to you. His life began the day you picked him up. Give him your love and understanding but never your pity or sympathy. Work him through whatever issues he may have with an open mind and strong heart. Be the confident, stable leader he is craving. Being emotional only feeds your dog’s anxiety and uncertainty, when what he really needs and wants is someone to say “who cares what you went through, you’re in a rock-solid home now.” If you show your dog that you’re not stuck on his past, he will be more likely to take those brave steps toward a better future.

Getting Along

A few hours a week I work at a local NJ doggie daycare. A couple of weeks ago I was there hanging with a pack of about twenty-five dogs when a new dog was dropped off to join the fun. As soon as this dog entered the play area, one of the other dogs lunged, barked and “went at” this new dog. The five seconds or so it took me to separate the dogs sounded like they were tearing each other apart. Once I got control of the dog that was instigating it (the dog that was already there) and allowed him to get back to a calm state of mind, I let him go. He immediately went over to the new dog but instead of asserting himself, he sniffed him. Then once they finished their introductions they proceeded to play together for the rest of the day and are now best buds.

Over the last few weeks I’ve gotten three separate calls about dogs that “hate” each other and cannot be in each other’s presence without a fight breaking out. In every one of these cases it was not aggression which was the issue - in fact all dogs were far from aggressive. They just hadn’t established a working relationship yet.

Dogs that have never met each other need to learn about each other and figure out their relationship before they can become happy pack-mates. In two of the cases I just worked on, it was a younger dog meeting an older dog. The young pups just wanted to play, play, play, while the older dogs just wanted their space respected. These dogs can absolutely peacefully coexist but we need to control the situation while they learn how to relate to one another.

I used leashes to stop the puppies from jumping into the older dog’s space and gave them time to adjust to each other’s energy. The pups learn that not every dog wants to play and that they can have relationships with dogs that don’t include tackling and chasing, while the older dogs learn to put up with this high energy puppy and that the humans in the pack will make sure that their personal space is respected.

It can take some time, especially if the dogs have not been well socialized. One thing that always helps is walking the dogs together. Nothing unifies dogs then bringing them together as a pack on a nice long walk. This give them a positive association to each other doing something they both love. The walk should be structured with all eyes forward. I find if we get their bodies moving forward, their minds soon follow. The walks give them a positive association with one another and are a great stepping stone to building a non-confrontational relationship.

If we separate the dogs, and don’t help them get to know one another in a positive light, they will never get past their initial state of mind. Yes, there are some dogs that just will never get along but if we take the time to help them move past their high-energy first impressions, we may watch them become friends - or at least learn to coexist comfortably.

Your Dog is Worth It

Before I worked with dogs, I was a personal trainer and nutritionist for humans. Eating healthy and exercising has always been an important part of my life and I’ve learned that what you eat is the most important factor to overall health and well-being both inside and out. What you eat has a profound effect on your body, energy, intellect, concentration and behavior.

When I changed my focus from people to dogs, nutrition was something I knew was equally important to our canine friends. Most of us just assume that the food we are feeding are dogs is good because that’s what the package tells us, but that is not always the case. It’s important to remember that, just like with us, there is good and bad food out there and an uniformed person may have a hard time distinguishing between the two.

Unfortunately, it is very easy to make the wrong choices. It’s very cheap and convenient to go to Burger King and eat off the dollar menu, while it you have to go out of your way to go to Whole Foods and buy organic. The same holds true for dogs. Every supermarket and super pet store had shelves full of crap food for our dogs. It will take us an extra trip to go to a small, specialty pet shop and we’ll have to throw down a few more dollars to get a good, quality food.

Yes, it is more time consuming and it will cost you more money, but I’m here to tell you that your dog is worth it.

Another problem is that everyone with fur clinging to their clothing is all too happy to give you advice on what to feed your dog. Everyone will recommend something different and swear that it’s “the best!” The breeder will tell you have to use one food, while your vet will tell you another, you’re neighbor will recommend yet another, and on and on it goes . . .

The one thing that they all have in common is that none of them are trained in canine nutrition – no, not even (most) vets. The reason people came to me for nutrition and fitness advice was because that was what I was trained for -that was my area of expertise. Get ready for a news flash, but most vets are not trained on nutrition. They get a day or two of nutrition in school and that’s it. When I got my nutrition certification for humans I immediately realized that my father and brother – both well educated and successful medical doctors – know almost nothing about nutrition. Why? Because that’s not what they are trained for.

The reason why most traditional vets recommend Science Diet (a food I put very low on the nutritional scale for dogs) is because the company that makes it, Hills, markets almost exclusively to vets. If your dog is sick or injured your vet is the person to go to, but if you have nutrition or behavior questions go to someone trained in those areas. Some vets have educated themselves canine nutrition (and behavior) but not many, so beware.

Bottom line is that the pet food industry is changing very rapidly and I predict you will see better food for your dog become easier to find in the near future. I don’t have the space here to go into what food is better and why. All I hope to accomplish here is to make you think before you put that food bowl down and investigate on what the best choice is for you and your dog. Sure, dogs are great adapters and can survive by eating just about anything, but do you want your furry best friend to survive or thrive? I finally switched to a higher quality food because one simple fact hit me: if switching to a higher quality, more expensive food gives me one extra day with my dog, it’s worth it.

It's All Fun and Games

To your dog every single second is a chance to have some fun. For a dog, life in general, is really all about fun. That’s all your dog wants, and most of his daily agenda is geared around finding cool stuff to do. Once Rover wakes up in the morning and shakes off the night’s sleep, he’s ready and raring to do anything exciting. If he can’t find anything entertaining enough, he’ll make his own fun (often at the expense of your furniture).

The good news is that we humans are looking for some good times as well. Hey, who out there doesn’t want to have fun? So why not have some with your dog. Isn’t that the reason you got a dog in the first place? You wanted a companion to share some fun with. I doubt that anyone would go out and get a dog thinking it would be no fun. So, fun it is!

Let’s never forget that having a dog is fun. In spite of whatever issues or minor problems you dog may have, he’s still fun to be around. Let’s never forget that. I know that I often get caught up in life and lose sight of that simple fact. No matter what kind of day you’re having, fun in your grasp (literally). Reach down, pet your dog and guess what? You’ve got a big hunk of fun in your hands.

I think it’s important to take some time every day and have a moment of fun with your furry pal. Lighten your day, lift your spirits and make your dog very happy. Make up games with your dog, be silly, run around in circles, laugh and be merry with your dog. Be creative and come up with cool, little ways for you and your dog to have a fun moment each and every day. That’s what life is supposed be for a dog – fun. And it’s what life can be for us to . . . lots and lots of fun.

So go have some fun with your dogs right now!

Here is Hayley and I having fun playing one of her favorite games.

The Blame Game

I got a call this week from a woman who has a four month-old puppy that is showing signs of anxiety and fearfulness around people. I was shocked to hear that a few people had told her that it might be too late to do anything about it. A four month-old puppy? Too late? Then she told me one of the people that had told her this was a vet. I almost dropped the phone with that piece of information.

She went on to tell me she also has another dog (a year and a half old Australian Cattle Dog, I believe) that is also fearful of people. She was not interested in my services for this dog because that’s “just the way the breed is” and there is no way to change it. Her vet currently has the dog on medication for it, but with no improvements.

As I was asking questions about the younger puppy she told me that his behavior must also be because of the breed – a Sheltie. Although it sounds to me like this poor woman has been getting some pretty uninformed advice, it still surprises me how quickly she put the blame on the breed and was basically giving up on having two happy, well-balanced dogs.

To me, any behavior problem is a cry for help from the dog. They are telling us that they are not happy or fulfilled in some way and it’s our job to try to help them. And yes, breed and a dog’s genetics can have an impact on how a dog develops but I think there is always room for improvement on any issue.

Never give up on a dog no matter how old, what breed or what tragic life he had before you adopted him. Instead, educate yourself and try to improve your dog’s quality of life – even a little. It’s always best to address problems early on, but you can certainly help any behavior issue – it just may mean a little more time and resources on your part, but they will pay you back ten-fold in love.

Certainly these two young dogs can lead much better lives if the owner just gets the right info and takes the time, without putting the blame on the breed or age of the dogs. I’ve seen retrievers who won’t fetch, Dobermans that refuse to guard and lots of old dogs learn new tricks.

Happy Birthday Hayley

In my world, today is a very special day. It began pretty much like every day has for the past eight years: me and my dog going for our morning walk together. It was what I consider a perfect winter day. It was cold but not freezing, with light, fluffy snow falling from the brightening sky. The kind of snow that looks beautiful on the trees, is great for building snowmen but too wet to stick in the street. As Hayley and I doubled back and made our way back toward our house, I noticed our tracks in the snow. Two sets of prints, side by side. I couldn’t help but smile and think that’s how the last nine years have been for me - always someone at my side.


Today is the day (or so I believe) that my dog, Hayley, was born nine years ago. She adopted me when she was about ten months old and has shared every aspect of my life since. I sincerely have to credit her for everything that I treasure most in my life. My job, my wife, my kids . . . all thanks to a homeless pit bull.

Seven month before I got Hayley my life was a mess. I had a job I hated and my girlfriend had just broken up with me. It was probably the saddest time of my life. After a few months throwing myself pity parties I finally decided to do something productive and volunteered with a local rescue group, helping out on adoption days. After only a few weeks around the dogs, my attitude changed. I felt alive again - more so than ever before. Homeless dogs who had nothing gave me more than any human could.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I fell in love with a white pit bull named Casper, but by the time I convinced my landlord to let me have her, she got adopted. I was devastated but not deterred. I quickly went to Petfinder and found a few similar pooches and in two weeks Hayley joined my life.

Three months later, thanks to Hayley’s unconditional love, I finally felt that I might be able to have another human relationship and I met my wife. Hayley actually shared my first kiss with Michele, as she poked her head into the front of my Jeep as I was saying goodbye after a mid-day date in the park. Hayley also inspired me to write a novel – something I had started a few times but was never motivated to continue. She is the hero of my suspense thriller, Dog Spelled Backward, and the focal point of the book. Then, years later, she inspired my once again - this time, with my career (or lack of one). I’ve had a number of careers throughout my adult life, but nothing I felt that I wanted to do long term. But after seeing how much Hayley has improved my life, it became clear that I had to help other achieve this kind of relationship.

So here I am now: a dog trainer who is happily married with twin girls. I owe all this to Hayley. I feel really bad for anyone who isn’t a “dog person” because they will never have that unique relationship that only a dog can provide. Dog’s are the only creatures on this planet that are never judgmental and freely dole out unconditional love 24/7. People who don’t have a dog will never experience this special bond and understanding that only a dog can give you.

So, happy birthday Hayley. You have given me so much more than I can return to you. Thank you and I love you.

Is My Dog Aggressive?

Over the last few months I've gotten a few calls from people saying that their dogs are aggressive. This statement alone doesn't alarm me, as it can mean a great number of things. Everyone seems to have their own definition of aggression and I would say that the typical dog owner usually throws it around incorrectly. Dogs that are labeled aggressive are usually treated with trepidation and uncertainty. They automatically are seen as guilty of aggression no matter what they are doing at the time.

The truth is that very few of these calls are for, what I would consider, an aggressive dog. My definition of aggression is when a dog bites and then has to be physically removed from the person or dog he is biting. That's a committed bite. A dog that bites and then withdraws is not aggressive, he's just sending a message. Don't get me wrong, it's still a serious issue that needs to be addressed, but we're not dealing with a dog that is actively aggressive. By that I mean, he's not a dog seeking out a fight, he's a dog that has be forced (in his mind) into an aggressive action.

One such call I received was from a mother who had a small dog that had "snapped" at her two-year-old daughter. She was very upset because her dog had never done anything like that before. Now, I was being called as a last resort before they gave the dog up. This was not a new dog, this was a dog that they have had for years.

When I got to the home and asked some questions I discovered that the little girl was petting the dog roughly and pulled on his ear. That's when the dog "snapped" at her. My client didn't like it, but I told her that the dog wasn't to blame, she was. The dog simply told the little girl not to pull his ear. Supervision over the child, teaching her how to interact with the dog is all that is needed to stop this from happening ever again.

It's not always that simple. Especially when a dog bites because of fear or anxiety. Those bites are much more frequent than true aggression cases and requires us to recognize when our dogs are not feeling comfortable about a situation. This also is not the dog's fault.

Puppies almost never show any signs of aggression period. I just got two calls from people saying their young puppy was showing signs of aggression. I told them I would be happy to help them with their issues but that there is no way it's aggression. The only thing on a puppy's mind is play. 24/7.

Aggression in dogs does exist but it's actually fairly rare. All I can say to you is watch the signs your dogs is giving you. No dog ever does anything "out of the blue." Their bodies are always telling us exactly how they are feeling. So, if you see some signs that your dog is asserting himself or has made some unfriendly advances, work on it immediately so you can understand exactly why he's behaving like that and what you need to do to correct it.